Monday, 17 November 2014

And then my heart broke . . . again.

Last night was a tough one. Daddy has been away for a little over a week with no contact. The boys have been coping pretty well considering and we even had a takeaway night on Saturday and ventured to the shops on Sunday. But then yesterday afternoon young madam started screaming uncontrollably. She clung to me like a limpet, I could have let her go and she wouldn't have fallen. We did all the usual, changed nappy, took temperature, had half a dose of calpol as teeth were potentially the problem and eventually decided to try for a nap, which turned into an early night. This just left the boys, we ate tea together, tidied away toys and sat down to play a game before bedtime. All was going well, bedtime was fairly straightforward and quiet so as not to wake the little madam and we had our story and settled down.
Later I went up to check on them and number 2 son was sobbing uncontrollably into his pillow, he was heartbroken. He misses Daddy, he wants him to come home now. He didn't come down to tell me as he was supposed to be asleep. Lots of cuddles and reassurance that Daddy would be home for the weekend and things seemed OK. I felt awful however and just wanted to wrap him in my arms and let him sleep on me.
10 mins later and I had to check on them again and number 1 son was in tears this time, he can't live without Daddy and he wants all the badness so everyone else has the goodness. It took a few minutes to fathom that all the badness is missing Daddy, having bad dreams, feeling sad all the 'bad' a small boy can think of. This truly tipped me over the edge. We had lots more cuddles and even a conversation about how lucky we are Daddy is coming home as lots of Daddies can't. And eventually everyone was settled. Apart from me of course who was now a wreck myself.
Hot chocolate and a good film went some way to helping but I really can't wait for the weekend.
And that's me for now. More cheerful news next time I hope. 

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